1980年2月21日,克里希那穆提在Ojai向Mary Zimbalist口述了下述文字,描述他此前在印度的一个体验。在这里他用第三人称来称呼他自己。全文如下:
1979年11月1日(实际上是10月31日),克从Brockwood到了印度。在Madras呆了几天后,他直接去了Rishi Valley。很长时间以来,他总是会在半夜醒来,伴随着那个特别的冥想。这个冥想已经追逐他很多很多年了。这一直是他生活中一个平常的事。这不是有意识,有目的追求的冥想,或者是一种无意识的希望成就什么的欲望。它很清楚地不是邀请来的或追求来的。他一直很敏捷地注视着思想是否在将这些冥想变成记忆。于是,每一次冥想都会有一种新鲜的品质。有一种力量在不断积累的感觉,不是追求或邀请来的。有时候它是如此的强烈以至于头部会疼痛,有时候有一种巨大的虚空与深不可测的能量感。有时候他会笑着醒来,伴随着巨大的快乐。这些特别的冥想,它们自然不是事先计划的,在不断地强化着。只有在他旅行的日子,或者晚上到达得很晚,它们才会停止,或者当他需要早起旅行时。
他在1979年11月中到达Rishi Valley时,那个力量又增强了。有一天晚上,在世界的那个部分所特有的寂静中,在没有猫头鹰的叫声打扰的宁静中,他醒来并感到一种完全不同的新东西。那个运动达到了所有能量的源泉。千万不要把它混同于,甚至想成上帝,或者最高的之物梵,这都是人类心灵出于恐惧与渴望的投射,对完全的安全感的永不停止的欲望。它绝不是这些东西。欲望根完全不可能达到它,语言根本无法度量它,思想的藤条无法在它上面缠绕。有人或许会问你怎么能肯定地说它是所有能量的源泉呢?你只能带着完全的谦卑回答说:就是如此。
克在印度的所有这段时间里,直至1980年1月底,每天晚上都会醒来,感到这种绝对的感觉。它不是一种状态,不是静态的、固定的、不动的。整个宇宙都在其中,人无法度量它。他1980年2月回到Ojai,在身体得到一些休息之后,有了这样一个感知,没有超越它的东西了。这就是终极,是起点、终点与绝对。只有一种不可置信的广阔与巨大的美。
"K went from Brockwood to India on November 1, 1979 (actually October 31). He went after a few days in Madras straight to Rishi Valley. For a long time he has been awakening in the middle of the night with that peculiar meditation which has been pursuing him for very many years. This has been a normal thing in his life. It is not a conscious, deliberate pursuit of mediation or an unconscious desire to achieve something. It is very clearly uninvited and unsought. He has been adroitly watchful of thought making a memory of these meditations. And so each meditation has a quality of something new and fresh in it. There is a sense of accumulating drive, unsought and uninvited. Sometimes it is so intense that there is pain in the head, sometimes a sense of vast emptiness with fathomless energy. Sometimes he wakes up with laughter and measureless joy. These peculiar mediations, which naturally were unpremeditated, grew with intensity. Only on the days he traveled or arrived late of an evening would they stop; or when he had to wake early and travel.
With the arrival in Rishi Valley in the middle of November 1979 the momentum increased and one night in the strange stillness of that part of the world, with the silence undisturbed by the hoot of owls, he woke up to find something totally different and new. The movement had reached the source of all energy. This must in no way be confused with, or even thought of, as god or the highest principle, the Brahman, which are projections of the human mind out of fear and longing, the unyielding desire for total security. It is none of those things. Desire cannot possibly reach it, words cannot fathom it nor can the string of thought wind itself around it. One may ask with what assurance do you state that it is the source of all energy? One can only reply with complete humility that it is so.
All the time that K was in India until the end of January 1980 every night he would wake up with this sense of the absolute. It is not a state, a thing that is static, fixed, immovable. The whole universe is in it, measureless to man. When he returned to Ojai in February 1980, after the body had somewhat rested, there was the perception that there was nothing beyond this. This is the ultimate, the beginning and the ending and the absolute. There is only a sense of incredible vastness and immense beauty." |